April 5, 2012 ~ Holy Thursday ~ Atlantic Beach
I flew into Jacksonville seven years ago today. I returned from a gruesome battle in Iraq. I did not feel welcome by my church or by my community. That big sign over the entrance, “Welcome Home,” was hollow for me. Of course this was my perception and may have had nothing to do with reality.
I could not find my home.
Here I am, still alone, a little lonely and no community I can call my own.
Physically and mentally I am really fine.
Even spiritually I am invigorated.
But I am experiencing being forgotten, just like Joseph after his brothers sold him into slavery and lied to their father that he was torn apart by wild beasts. Yes, of course I know that Joseph eventually forgave his brothers, and he knew in his heart that if they had not sold him and treated him so badly, they would have all perished. And maybe there is something of truth in my situation. However, as I go through this very difficult time, I know I must go alone and love those who may be persecuting me. Jesus on the cross says over and over, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” I pray I have the wisdom and courage to do so.
In many ways, I have been forgotten and discarded.
The people of God need something I have, but they don’t know it.
O Jesus, my God, my Father, my Friend and my Beloved
You came to bring us home but no one saw it,
…not even your closest friends and apostles
All that I need in this world is You alone
Nothing else will satisfy my longing
For justice, freedom and mercy
For wisdom, courage and comfort
For healing, wholeness and new life
I thirst and pant for you, Jesus
I hunger for your body and love
Fill my soul with your light and love
Inebriate my being with your blood
Calm my terror and fear
Let me hear you say,
“Do not be afraid!”
Pope John Paul II died seven years ago on Divine Mercy Sunday.
I was flying to Haiti just ten days after I arrived home
I was still at the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy, only a teenager
when he was announced as the Pope to follow John Paul I
I learned of it in the small chapel and then saw him at Shea Stadium
It seems that my body is always traveling since then:
Apartheid in South Africa
Military coup in Liberia
Israel and the Dome of the Rock, Wailing Wall, and Holy Sepulcher
Watching the Exorcist in Italian
Korea and Panama
Hawaii and dashed dreams of marriage and family
Japan, Hong Kong, Thailand
Murderers and a court martial
Australia, Puerto Rico and Cuba
Fatima and Rome
Haiti, Honduras, Bahamas and the Poor
The Poor in Spirit
Stewardship and International Conference and presentations
A horrific war in between the Tigris and Euphrates River
I am so unworthy, but here I am as your beloved
All I have is Jesus, Saint Augustine and ecstasy
Give me strength, courage and wisdom to endure my cross with dignity and love
Show me your wounds
May my wounds touch Your wounds
Allow me to walk with You
on this terribly and frightening Dark Night
Give me rest and food so I may lead your people home
Call me into our sacred wounds
I long to help you carry your cross, if only for a moment
Jesus ~ I am terrified and scared and yet hope is firm
I love you
I trust you
I believe in you
I need you
And You whisper into my heart and soul:
“Ron Moses, I need you too.
You are my beloved son, brother, friend and lover…my beloved”
Forgive me for doubting your mercy and touch,
so sweet and healing
Here I am…always…and in all ways
Show me the Way
wow and o my
You have shown me the depths of your love.
I glimpse your smile and handsome beauty.
Good Friday ~ Morning ~ April 6, 2012 ~Queen of Peace rectory
Last night I proclaimed the Gospel
Jesus stripped himself and washed feet
The power in my voice came from God alone
I was merely an instrument
I am called to do the same as everyone else is…
…to wash feet
which in reality means to
cure the sick
raise the dead
drive out demons
and cleanse lepers
Holy Saturday and Easter Vigil ~ Moon Rising!
Not feeling well enough to go to the Easter Vigil at the church
The Easter Vigil came to me!
Moon rose at 9:11
Exhausted mentally, physically and spiritually
I rode my bike to the beach
Binoculars in hand…the moon filled my view
She looked like the Bloody Eucharist…Body and Blood
“Go tell them Ron Moses! Tell them I Am alive!”
Love, Joy, Peace…and Alleluia
Father Ron Moses +